Workshops

Having taught school for 33 years, I've attended my share of workshops and meetings. In fact, today the students get out early and I've got a meeting. Unlike most of the half day school improvement meetings we have, this one will be with my department. I work with a great bunch of people and if left to our own resources, I'm relatively certain we could educate the troops, turning out some great projects and having them all adding, subtracting and doing long division along the way. And probably before sundown at that. Since this is not, nor ever will be the case, I attend, on a somewhat sporadic basis, workshops and meetings that promise the new best thing that usually is either a new spin on an old idea or some lame ass idea that is doomed from the start.

While checking out the Starlet Showcase yesterday, the author rails against workshops in general and the one he is currently attending in particular. Usually his blog consists of black and white photos - Hollywood stars from movie stills or studio shots, posters, etc. I really enjoyed his rant, however, and thought I'd share it with you.

This week, to my endless displeasure, I am stuck in a workshop,
which is not quite work and not really a shop. We break up into
little groups and do things called "exercises" or "projects."
Some people are there to somehow enhance their résumés. Some,
like me, just want it to be Friday already. And some are there
to actually learn something. Those are the scariest ones. They
are so full of enthusiasm and wonder, you just want to strangle
the sh!t out of them.
Some people enjoy "group projects." Me, I absolutely hate them.
Lock me up all alone in a room with an ashtray, a computer, a
coffee pot, and maybe a good revolver, and I can probably solve
just about any problem you throw my way. That's simply how I
operate. I don't want to participate in discussions. I don't
need to brainstorm. I don't want any feedback. I don't feel
the need to create an atmosphere of openness by which we can
develop protocols for addressing issues affecting our collective
objectives while quantifying our goal-setting standards and
incrementally disintervening in the stake-holders' perceived
needs.
Makes ya wanna puke, don't it?
I think maybe the answers to most things is:
1.) Just do it.
or
2.) Get her done.
or
3.) Phuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
It seems like there are a gazillion people who spend their whole
lives talking about how things should get done without actually
getting anything done. It might be called The Perpetually Useless
Jag-off Style of Management. People hold round table discussions
about it. People write books about it. Some people are basically
idiots.
Anyway, I did not sign up for this workshop. I did not volunteer.
I do not say much. I do not have much to add. I am not really
materially participating. I just want the week to end.

Couldn't have said it better, myself.