Thursday, April 26, 2012

Just Throwing 'Em Out There

Photo From Here
Since I've been laid up I've been watching quite a bit of television. Actually, not so much watching but having it on for some background noise. When you've got tinnitus, the ringing in your ears can be pretty distracting. So here are my observations after a couple of weeks of watching television. In general:

It's not worth a damn!

It explains much of what's wrong with this country today.

Now more specifically:

ESPN, the sports network doesn't really show any sports. It's all about talking about sports. Additionally, why aren't there more baseball games on television? All those channels and thirty major league teams and you can't find a ball game on TV. Same goes for hockey. The play-off games are all over the map. It shouldn't be that hard to find a game. We're fortunate in the Chicago area to have a pretty good situation for the local teams but you still have to seek out the games because they could be on four different stations. I know there are subscription sports channels but as much as they charge you for regular service, especially when the original promise of cable was that you wouldn't have any commercials, I see no reason to pony up any extra cash.

All of the do-it-yourself shows are basically geared to the woodshop crowd. Nothing wrong with woodworking but man does not live by the table saw alone. Plus, they're all on Saturday afternoon. If a guy works five days a week, when is he going to do his chores, take the kids to the park, etc. Saturday afternoons. Great scheduling fellas.

How much of my bill goes towards financing programs like Zumba dance or Brazilian Butt Lift? Do we really need all of the infomercial crap on all the many channels? Good gracious, what a colossal waste of a resource.

Since a guy like me can't really find anything worth watching other than old movies and the occasional sports broadcast, how about a new type of do-it yourself show. The biggest demographic group is the baby boomers. Who has the disposable income? The baby boomers. So here's the pitch. Why not a show that features a guy like Shop Teacher Bob building things like I normally do. Instead of the glitzy hot rod/motorcycle shows with all the drama, how about a show that actually shows guys building things that the average knucklehead could duplicate himself with a little bit of practice and perseverance. I've built bicycles, motorcycles, cars, trailers, all kinds of stuff. It sure would have shortened up the learning curve if I could have had a little instruction. As soon as I get back on my feet I'm going to start back in on the wooden boat project. It sure would have been nice to follow along on a similar boat building project before tackling mine. I'd like to make my own longbow one of these days. It'd be nice to tune in to that episode to find a source of materials as well as a follow along how-to.

Obviously you can tell I've had too much time on my hands lately but I know that there's an untapped market out there. When I was going to college I had to give demonstration speeches in a couple of my classes. I remember showing how to synch a pair of motorcycle carbs. I made up a little wooden box with a pair of carbs bolted up to it along with handlebars, throttle and cables. If you've never done a job like that, it's really not all that tough after seeing it done once. French some headlights, lead a seam, build a bicycle, rebuild an old BSA, forge a set of fireplace tools, change the clutch on your Ford 8N. Get a few shows taped, ask for reader suggestions and the sky's the limit. 

So there's the idea. Put something like that on television and there'll be lots of geezers interested as well as a lot of the young bucks looking for some how-to. Tell all your TV producer buddies that I'm available. I can't do everything but if I can't do it, I can probably find someone who can. If I don't hear from you soon, maybe I'll figure out how to put on the Shop Teacher Bob Hour here on the blog.  In fact, if you're willing to under-wright the cost of production, we'll get started as soon as I can lift more than ten pounds. I've got all kinds of projects to work on. I'll even let you pick which one we start with. With a little bit of luck, I'll get a few of my projects done and I'll be too busy to watch TV. 


6 comments:

Traveling Pirate said...

STB is back! Love the post

Shop Teacher Bob said...

Actually, I'm only about half joking - not about quality of television programming, it's all crap, but about the DIY show. I've got a couple of how-to videos I made and need to find the best way to post them without losing control of them like I would if I put them on You-Tube. Let me know if you've got any suggestions or if you want to become a producer/director/gaffer on The Shop Teacher Bob DIY Hour. I know an unemployed PhD candidate that might be interested in working with us.

Surly said...

Well, the problem is that the more that people watch TV, the more advertisers will pay. If no one watches, no money, off goes the show. People watch all the crap that you (and I) dislike. Lots of people. It's not the dog you have an issue with so much as the tail. They put on TV exactly what gains the most amount of viewers. It has NOTHING to do with quality. You want to do a quality show to a target audience? Film it and put it no Youtube. If it's good folks will watch. If not...then call the networks and sell them the idea. Just pitch Kim Kardashian as the lead...

Shop Teacher Bob said...

Surly, you're absolutely correct but if I watch The Learning Channel, I'd like to learn something. If I watch the Discovery Channel, I'd like to discover something. And if I watch the Weather Channel, I damn sure would like to see the weather.

With literally hundreds of channels, you would think there would be room for a couple of hours per week of making things. I just did the career day presentation and most of the kids had never even seen a picture of an engine lathe. How you going to get a kid interested in being a machinist if he never is exposed to it?

Maybe I should go see Channel 56.

Traveling Pirate said...

Do they still have public access channels? That used to be mandatory under the law when cable TV first started. That's how that Valpo kid Michael Essany got started and he eventually got on a real cable channel. That might be a place to start.

Shop Teacher Bob said...

I should check into that. Or just move on to something else like the big stack of reading material I've now got. It seems like there should be a way to have a little fun, generate a little cash and do something worthwhile, however.